Apparently, In Australia, We Eat Fairy Toast, Not Fairy Bread [Recipe]

Fairy bread using 100's & 1000's

Fairy bread using 100’s & 1000’s [Image via Alpha | Flickr | CC BY-SA 2.0]

For all you Aussies reading this, you can stop laughing now.

I shit you not, some fancy food blog decided to reinvent Australian fairy bread. Along with a recipe bearing no resemblance to Australian fairy bread, there were a few facts that were invented as well. So, I thought I would set everyone straight on just what is fairy bread and why having it as toast is the worst idea ever.


  • Fairy toast. Apparently us Australians use this term to describe fairy bread. Apparently it is a common term. No. No, it is not. I have never heard that term used. No one I have ever spoken to has heard any Aussie calling fairy bread “fairy toast.” I call bullshit.

In fact, the more I think about this made up term, the more it makes no sense. Anyone who has ever prepared fairy bread will be wondering how you get sprinkles to stick to the melted margarine on a slice of toast. The short answer is: you don’t. The long answer is: you don’t fucking do it.

The only acceptable variant for fairy bread

The only acceptable variant for fairy bread [Image via By Gemsling (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons]

  • Origin story. Who the fuck cares? It’s fairy bread. You make it for birthday parties, that is all you need to know. My mum didn’t need to know where fairy bread originated from, she just needed to know if she had enough sprinkles to make a small or a large batch of fairy bread. But, if you want to know more about the origins of fairy bread, apparently it was inspired by this poem.
  • When do you eat it? So, according to the fanciful story that fairy bread is actually fairy toast, us Aussies also eat it for breakfast. We do no such thing. Fairy bread is a party food. Mostly it is made for children’s parties, but, sometimes we make it to take to a grown up party. We do not have it for breakfast, or “a snack in-between meals, or after dinner to finish off the meal.” It is fancy food that should be appreciated at a party, not everyday.


  • Firstly, there are only three ingredients for fairy bread: white bread, margarine and sprinkles.
 Fairy bread ingredients

Fairy bread: If your ingredients are different to these, you’re doing it wrong!

The bread should be cheap. And square. None of those curves at the top that come with homemade or fancy bread. The aim is to whack out a batch of fairy bread in a hurry for your child’s birthday party. Bread that is not square is no good for geometric sorting on the plate.

How to display fairy bread on a plate

How to display fairy bread on a plate [Image via Dani Lurie | Flickr| CC BY-SA 2.0]

The article fancying up fairy bread said you should use “cultured butter.” Or to make your own. I’m not sure who was interviewed for this article, but anyone who has ever tried to spread butter on cheap white bread will be able to smell the bullshit here. Margarine is soft, it spreads easily on white bread. Butter, on the other hand, tears through the delicate fluff of white bread and you end up with artisan croutons rather than a party food. Oh, and if you manage to fit two tablespoons of spread onto a single piece of bread, please, throw that shit out!

Finally, what ever the fuck “sparkly sanding sugar” is, it doesn’t belong on fairy bread. You have two choices here, round sprinkles (also called 100’s & 1000’s here in Australia) and splintered sprinkles. If you want fancy, pick a colour theme, otherwise it is rainbow all the way! Which is better, 100’s & 1000’s or splinters? If you have ever seen people arguing about pineapple on a pizza, you know the response to expect here.

Pineapples do go on pizza

Pineapples do go on pizza! [Image via OnSizzle]

  • To make fairy bread, slap some margarine on your bread, spread it right out to the crust.
  • Fill a bowl with your preferred sprinkles
  • Dip your bread, margarine-side down into the bowl of sprinkles and press lightly. You want maximum adhesion here.
  • Cut your fairy bread into triangles. If you want, you can remove the crusts, but it really doesn’t matter
  • Enjoy!

Have you ever had fairy bread? Let me know by commenting below!

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FX’s ‘American Horror Story: Roanoke,’ “Chapter 6” Recap

Here’s my recap of Chapter 5 of American Horror Story: Roanoke.

You know how I admitted last week that I hated American Horror Story: Roanoke? Yeah, that hasn’t changed. This disclaimer at the start of Episode 6 didn’t help:

Source: FX’s ‘American Horror Story: Roanoke,’ “Chapter 6” Recap

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Find Some 99 Cent Halloween Treats With the Myrddin Library of Horror!


The Myrddin Library of Horror Event 2016

Besides the awesome Halloween Scavenger Hunt I am participating in this year (which will occur on October 29, so make sure you check back here then), I have also included some of my books in the Myrddin Library of Horror promotion this Halloween! So that means that if you miss out on winning a copy of The Ring of Lost Souls in the scavenger hunt, you can purchase it for only 99 cents on Halloween.

So, what is the Myrddin Library of Horror promotion?

Well, besides myself, there are a few other authors at Myrddin Publishing Group who like to scare the crap out of people, so we have gotten together to offer a variety of genres that could all be considered scary. Some books are not completely horrific outright but will easily get underneath your skin, giving you a delicious sense of unease that we all need to experience on Halloween.

As well as the sale, a Facebook event will beheld on Sunday, October 30 (ET). This event will host the participating authors as they showcase their work. Feel free to join up at the event page here and drop by to ask them a question and participate in all the shenanigans.

All books in the Myrddin Library of Horror will be 99 cents during the promotion.

You can check out the participating authors and books below.

Shaun Allen


Sin by author Shaun Allan

Dead, dead, dead. Say it enough times and it becomes just another word.

What would you do? Could you kill a killer? Does the death of one appease the deaths of a hundred? What about that hundred against a thousand?

What if you had no choice?

Meet Sin. No, not that sort of sin, but Sin, crazy as a loon (you ask Sister Moon), and proud of it. Sin locks himself away in an asylum and, every so often, gets violent. That’s only so they’ll give him those nice drugs, though. The ones that help him forget.

It’s a pity they don’t work.

Sin, you see, has a serious problem. Well, it’s not so much his problem, as ours – yours, mine and everyone else’s. People die around Sin. He doesn’t like it and there’s nothing he can do about it. But someone else knows, and Sin has to stop them… and himself…

Flip and catch…


Mr Composure by author Shaun Allan

“Once upon a time…”

All the best stories begin that way. Once upon a time, Jack climbed a beanstalk. Cinderella did go to the ball.

Once upon a time, his parents died.

When your parents are killed in front of you on the one day of the year when all crime is legal, what do you do?

You prepare for next year. You prepare for payback…

Specially commissioned by NBC Universal for the release of the film The Purge: Anarchy, MR. COMPOSURE is “simply superb” and ranked #1!


Suffer the Little Children by author Shaun Allan

 Simon, Fey and Rebecca. An ordinary family trying to cope after the death of the girls’ mother. One day, Rebecca ‘gives’ her imaginary friend, Nathaniel, to her Simon, telling her father he can keep Nathaniel ‘forever’…

Then the phone appears. Then the lies begin. And the pain. And the faces in the photographs…

Simon asks Rebecca who Nathaniel really is. She tells him he prefers to be known by his nickname, ‘Mr. Boogie’…

Specially commissioned by Universal for the release of the movie sequel ‘Sinister 2’, SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN is “genuinely terrifying!”

Carlie M. A. Cullen


Heart Search: Lost by Carlie M. A. Cullen

One bite starts it all . . .

When Joshua Grant vanishes days before his wedding his fiancée Remy is left with only bruises, scratch marks and a hastily written note. Heartbroken, she sets off alone to find him and begins a long journey where strange things begin to happen.

As Joshua descends into his new immortal life he indulges his thirst for blood and explores his superhuman strength and amazing new talents while becoming embroiled in coven politics which threaten to destroy him. But Remy discovers a strength of her own on her quest to bring Joshua home.

Fate toys with mortals and immortals alike, as two hearts torn apart by darkness face ordeals which test them to their limits.

Connie J. Jasperson


Tower of Bones by author Connie J Jasperson


Edwin Farmer and his companions journey deep into the shadowed lands claimed by the dreaded Bull God, determined to rescue a kidnapped healer at any cost. Battling creatures born of magic, fierce minotaur warriors, and the mad priest of the Bull God, Edwin must transform himself into a hero. The Gods are at war and Neveyah is the battleground. Magic and destiny wait in the TOWER OF BONES.

Stephen Swartz


A Dry Patch of Skin by author Stephen Swartz

The truth about being a vampire: It is not cool, not sexy. It’s a painful, miserable existence. Good reason to avoid that situation, thinks medical technician Stefan Székely. He’s too busy falling in love with TV reporter Penny Park. Until one day when she notices a dry patch of skin on his face. At first it’s just annoying, nothing to worry about, some weird skin disease he can treat with lotions. However, as his affliction worsens, Stefan fears that his unsightly problem will ruin his relationship with Penny. If only that was all Stefan has to worry about! He soon realizes there is a lot more at stake than his handsome face. To save himself, Stefan must go in search of a cure for the disease which is literally destroying him inch by inch. If only his parents had told him of the family legacy.

Rachel Tsoumbakos


The Ring of Lost Souls by Rachel Tsoumbakos

What if fairy tales were real?

Larundel – A place plagued by lost souls.

A ring that has claimed a few of them.

And a woman who is about to collide with a world she has forgotten about.

When an abandoned mental asylum is set to be redeveloped, sinister events unfold in the community surrounding it.

Isobel moves into the neighbourhood looking for a new future only to find a past she never knew belonged to her. Is she a sane person living in an insane world or a crazy person trapped in reality?

Set in an actual abandoned mental institution on the outskirts of Melbourne, Australia, THE RING OF LOST SOULS is a fast-paced fairy tale weaving together a believable blend of fantasy, urban legend and pure insanity.


Rachel Tsoumbakos Metanoia 375

Marli Anderson has just one task: assassinate Oscar La Monde, the man she once loved.

As assassin for hire for the prestigious Merrick’s Inc., she is sent back to her home town to kill the man she now loathes beyond all others—her husband. Considering they are on opposing sides of the uprising, Marli anticipates an easy task; ‘closure’ they call it. The fact that she can exact her revenge for his past discretions is just the icing on the cake.

When she arrives, the town has changed. The man she hated is unexpectedly welcoming. And the town’s folk—well, they’re just… different. Someone or something has transformed them all into a bunch of zombies. They appear to be harmless – but are they?

As she begins to uncover details of who may be behind the townsfolk’s’ metamorphosis, Marli is left fighting for the truth. Will she and Oscar be able to unravel the web of deception before it’s too late?

Should she trust her heart or her head? Which is less likely to get her killed?

Either way, METANOIA is a heart-stopping zombie apocalypse adventure that will keep you guessing at every twist and turn until the very end.

Posted in Books, Dystopia, Event, Halloween, Horror, Larundel, Metanoia, Myrddin Publishing Group, Paranormal, Rachel Tsoumbakos, The Ring of Lost Souls, zombies | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

HBO’s ‘Westworld,’ Season 1, Episode 3, “The Stray” Recap

Welcome to my recap of HBO’s latest offering, Westworld. Here’s what I thought of Episode 3 of Season 1.

The title of this episode, “The Stray,” pertains to a random host Elsie (Shannon Woodward) and Stubbs (Luke Hemsworth) have to chase down in Westworld. He has been hanging with a group that seem to have to gotten themselves into a loop and are just sitting out in the woods around a camp fire. This stray like to carve stuff, but Elsie soon discovers all of his creations seem to have the constellation, the Orion, on them. So, is this another “game within the game”or has this stray legitimately flipped it switch? After a lot of hunting, Elsie stops to take a piss and conveniently takes a leak right next to the stray, who has fallen down a crevasse. Stubbs gets down there in the crevasse and bleeds that stray out for … reasons. The stray comes back on line midway through and climbs the hell out of that hole, nearly taking out Elsie until he decides to bash his own skull in with a rock. So, Orion carvings: 0. Violent delights quote: 2. I know which glitch I would rather have …

Source: HBO’s ‘Westworld,’ Season 1, Episode 3, “The Stray” Recap

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“American Horror Story: Roanoke,” Chapter 5 Recap

Okay, to be fair, I am flat out saying it aloud now: I HATE this season of American Horror Story. I don’ t even care if Episode 6 is supposed to turn everything on it’s head. You know there is something wrong when you are siding with a character called “the Butcher” and you want the main characters to become human smores.

But, without further ado, here’s my recap of Chapter 5 of American Horror Story: Roanoke 

Source: “American Horror Story: Roanoke,” Chapter 5 Recap

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