May Be the Last Time.
Oh my gods! I’m early with my recap 😉 Here’s what went down in Episode 7 (entitled May Be the Last Time) of HBO’s True Blood Season 7:
- Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard) got sick of Amber (Natalie Hall) claiming her sister, Sarah Newlin (Anna Camp), was really just a good person and staked that bitch. But that’s okay because thanks to the fact that Mr. Gus (Will Yun Lee) has mad stalking skills, we now know that Sarah is loosing her shit at the the abandoned Fellowship of the Sun institute.
- Andy (Chris Bauer) and Holly (Lauren Bowles) are still looking for their kids – and that is despite the fact that Holly is a witch AND intuitive (her words, not mine). That’s because Violet (Karolina Wydra) has squirreled them away to her 50 shades of sex dungeon anyway. What could possibly go wrong? At least Violet let’s the dear things hand in their V cards before traumatising them… And now we have a legitimate reason for Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) to randomly give Adilyn (Bailey Noble) her blood back when she wasn’t even in danger.
- Speaking of Jess, her and Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) are being miserable at Bill’s (Stephen Moyer) house. While Jessica is all jaded, at least Sookie is optimistic about finding a cure for Bill’s rampant dose of Hep-V.
- Dr. Ludwig (Marcia DeRousse) arrives on the scene in a Hummer.
- Let’s just back that shit up again. Dr. L arrives in a motherfucking HUMMER. Then she proceeds to call Sookie on being a shitty girlfriend as well as telling her and Bill that fae blood may be part of the reason Bill’s Hep-V is accelerated, but probably not. Then, when Sookie spills her fae linage, Dr. L splits. Turns out the Brigant’s are dwarf killers… Way to go Niall!
- Oh yeah, Niall (Rutger Hauer). Sookie calls him looking for help. Like a fairy has enough attention span for that shit! Niall delivers by not delivering anything usable beyond ‘I’m not Team Bill.‘
- Just on those annoying Bill flashbacks: is HBO trying to tell us that Bill’s one true love is Caroline? Maybe. Still doesn’t warrant the fact that it has taken THE WHOLE SEASON to get to this point yet we only needed ONE EPISODE (well, maybe two if you count the crappy Sylvie flashbacks) to find out the entire back story for Eric, Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten), Ginger (Tara Buck) AND Fangtasia.
- Arlene (Carrie Preston) finally gets some full frontal nudity in the way of a sex dream with her vampire saviour Keith (Riley Smith).
- Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell) blah, blah, something…
- Nu Blood – it’s like Tru Blood, just with Sarah Newlin’s blood and not the added Hep-V.
- Hoyt (Jim Parrack) returns with a hot blonde. And Jason (Ryan Kwanten) just can’t help himself. Seriously dude, you had one story arc. One!
- Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) and Lettie Mae (Adina Porter) are digging up Lettie Mae’s front yard. Except it is her old front yard, and they haven’t asked the new owners yet.
- Delusional Sarah Newlin. So much more interesting than On the Run Sarah. It seems all her previous power fuck buddies are back to mess with her head. Enter evil Jason, non-vampire Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian), nameless guru and headless Governor (Arliss Howard). Mostly they’re fighting over her soul, except for Jason who is creepy and tells her that she will be dead by dawn. Then Sarah claims that she is the one true Messiah and it is melodramatic TV GOLD!
- Sookie’s running through the cemetery wearing a white dress… hang on a minute… now she’s at Bill’s and they’re kissing… Haven’t we seen this before?… Now they’re naked… And we are introduced to a big ole pile of ‘I’m sorry I gave you Hep-V’ sex… Seems the writer’s decided to rehash Season 1 for us. You know, back when Bill hadn’t been a horrendous pig to Sookie. Of course, the upside to this is that Team Eric fans will be jumping up and down with excitement because it is still three episodes short of a happily ever after…
What did you think of Episode 7 of HBO’s True Blood Season 7? Let me know in the comments below!
You can read my Episode 8 recap by clicking here.
(Photo Credits: HBO Inc.)
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