Fire in the Hole
Sorry I’m so late with this recap, but, seriously, this one sucked sweaty dogs balls! Here’s what went down in HBO’s True Blood Season 7 Episode 3, entitled Fire in the Hole:
- Why are we watching yoga? *checks channel* Why are they playing yoga when they should be playing True Blood? Oh, hang on, is that a brunette Sarah Newlin (Anna Camp)? Noomi *winks* I get it, you don’t want anyone to know who you are…
- In a bid to woo Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard) out of the doldrums, Pam (Kristin Bayer van Straten) and Eric chat about old times. Turns out some important woman called Sylvie (who we we have never heard of before now) made Eric cry back in the 80’s when Tru Blood was first invented and Eric didn’t like the idea of toeing the line. Long story short; Eric had to chose who lived or died: Pam or Slyvie. We know how that story ended even before it started, so the whole flashback was rather pointless, don’t you think? Pam should have just walked in, told Eric to man the fuck up and come and hunt down Sarah Newlin at the beginning. The only thing this whole section had going for it was Pam’s hair and Eric’s bad wig.
- Alcide (Joe Manganiello) finally gets out the shower and realises Sookie (Anna Paquin) has gone all Carl-stay-in-the-house and gone to visit Bill (Stephen Moyer).
- There is a whole help of stuff about how dumb the people of Bon Temps are. This is to lead up to the shithole of an ending but mostly it’s just Sam (Sam Trammell) telling people to calm the fuck down, Adilyn (Bailey Noble) flirting with Holly’s (Lauren Bowles) son while listening in on people’s head conversations and the rest of the towns folk gunning up and gunning down random vampires and shit.
- Willa (Amelia Rose Blaire) gets evicted from her new home at the church after getting the reverend’s wife high on V.
- Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) and James (Nathan Parsons) get wasted. Turns out James completely swings both ways but when Lala tries to hit on him, James goes all ‘I’ve got a girlfriend‘.
- Jason (Ryan Kwanten) wants babies, Violet (Karolina Wydra) doesn’t. And, der Jason, she can’t have them anyway. Yet another pointless exercise going on there with this storyline.
- Bill flashback – oh look, it has nothing to do with anything either…
- The Hep-V vamps at Fangtasia are looking for another feed and take Holly along with them. Seems they are heading to the same place as all the riled up towns folk of Bon Temps. Yeah, it’s at about this point when I realise we are going to lose another main character.
- Sookie’s big plan is be be delicious fairy vagina bait for the Hep-V vamps (who are heading there anyway). Not sure how she thinks her and Bill can take down the whole herd, but there you have it; Sookie’s way or the highway! At least the pair of them have a nice chat about how Sookie may not love Alcide as much as Alcide loves her. Bet Bill is pretty happy to have this knowledge now, especially considering how angry Sookie was with him last season…
- R.I.P. Mrs. Fortenberry (Dale Raoul). This occurs when the town folk descend on Jason’s group who are out looking for Sookie. Sam’s vamp bites the dust too, so at least I don’t have to worry about his motives anymore.
- Back to Sarah Newlin and it seems she has changed her religion along with her hair colour, but, still with a preference for porking spiritual leaders, she is now in bed with her yoga guru. Lucky she also likes alcohol, because while she is fetching another bottle, her guru gets some unwanted visitors who are looking for Sarah-Noomi-NewMe-Newlin. While he admits he knows her, he won’t reveal where she is, so it’s deady-bones for him. Sarah hides in the adjoining room. WHICH ISN’T CHECKED.
- Episode 3 concludes with another pointless death. This time it is Alcide. At least it’s an on camera death (unlike Tara’s). All the Hep-V vamps, Bon Temps crazies, Jason’s group and Alcide arrive at Sookie’s spot in the woods at the same time. A shit fight and shoot out ensues and Alcide cops one right in the forehead. At least Sookie seems sad this time. Bet Bill isn’t though…
So, what did you think of Episode 3 of True Blood? Let me know in the comments below!
You can read my Episode 4 recap by clicking here.
(Photo Credits: HBO Inc.)
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