In the post-apocalypse worlderness, zombies rule the earth. They’re allergic to meat, and brains literally make them explode.
Zombies now eat blood potatoes, parasitic tubers grown in the flesh of humancows corralled in maximum security farms.
The necros, barbaric human nomads travelling the worlderness in floating villages, worship the zombies. The necros both eat the zombies, and wear clothes made from them; they live in houses built of bricks of undead flesh. They also keep zombies as sex slaves.
Two fugitives meet in the ancient ruins of Texas. The first is Soil 15-f, a womancow who’s escaped her farm a week before she’s due to be killed and her blood potato crop harvested. The second fugitive is Able Kane, former head necros food technician, now sentenced to death for heresy.
But Soil is no ordinary humancow. Unknown to herself, she’s the vegan zombie agricultural revolution, and the zombies desperately want her back.
And the necros equally desperately want Able Kane dead. He’s fled with a forbidden discovery which will reshape the world for the worse if used. And Able is just hardheaded/misguided enough to use it.
With android zombinators and the head necros assassin (Able’s ex-girlfriend Morphia) after them, Soil and Able Kane have no choice but to climb the lemon tree to Haeven, residence of the zombie god Necro.
And by anyone’s reckoning, Soil and Able Kane are the two people in the worlderness who should never have been let into Haeven.
Back cover description:
Fear not mankind, the omniscient God Necro proclaims that your tasty brains will be safe from the ravenous undead during the impending zombie apocalypse. Unfortunately for most of you, however, the enlightened zombie hoard plans to herd you like cattle on their potato plantations and use your fertile bodies to grow their specialized blood veggies.
Only by prostrating yourself before the Great Necro can you join forces with other faithful necros and defend humanity from the ever encroaching zombie invasion. But it won’t be easy, especially if you’ve just escaped from the vegfarm – and you already have the cattle brand on your forehead and the telltale potato vines sprouting from your body.
Bounty-hunting zombinators, flying cleaver-laden helicopters and cockrockets, will soon be hot on your trail as you race toward the Promised Land and the sanctuary that is known as the Republic of Texas.
Not only is “Vegan Zombie Apocalypse” one of the most bizarre stories ever conceived, but its universal appeal should extend far beyond its bizarro fan base. Enthusiasts of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror, and especially zombie fiction lovers, should relish this book, even though it ventures into the dark realm of the extraordinarily grotesque at times… many times actually.
*My Book Review*
DISCLAIMER: This book/eBook being reviewed was provided free of charge for an honest review.
Earlier in the year, I was offered this book in exchange for an honest review. Firstly, I took it on because it was about zombies, VEGAN zombies that exploded if they came in contact with human brains! That alone was enough to intrigue me. Secondly, this novel falls into the bizarro genre – one I had never sampled before, so I just knew I had to read this book. Thirdly, surprisingly, this book can also be considered dystopia, so I will be including it in my Dystopia Reading Challenge.
So what is the bizarro genre? This article sums it up just nicely.
As for Vegan Zombie Apocalypse, did I like it?
Hmmmm… yes and no.
I really can’t categorise my feelings on it entirely. I am also finding it really hard to rate it.
Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t put this book down. Imagine Plant’s vs. Zombies – the completely fucked up version. The concept was cool and the world building was amazing and completely plausible within what the author was attempting to convey to the reader.
I just found parts of it really hard to swallow. I am not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but there were moments where I just couldn’t stomach what was going on. At times I also wondered if the author was just saying things in order to chock the reader rather than advance the story. If you find any of the following offensive, then this book is not for you:
- use of the word ‘cunt’
- zombie rape
- sex that is more than two people doing it missionary style
- live critters used as tampons
BUT, as far as bizarro fiction goes, I think it was an excellent starter book.
The first half of this book is definitely better than the second half, when we go from plausible weird to LSD induced non-reality. Even still, I found I devoured this book in two days. Really, once you start this book you CANNOT put it down!
Overall, (after much deliberation) I am giving Vegan Zombie Apocalypse by Wol-Vriey 4 out of 5 stars. Thank you for managing to push me out of my comfort zone Wol-Vriey!
About the Author
He currently resides in a state of uneasy stalemate with his threatening-to-thin-beyond-redemption hair, and believes there actually are things that go bump in the night.
Wol-vriey recycles the ridiculous into reasonable reality for the reader.
His WEIRRRD philosophy? WEIRRRD = Warp/Write Everything into Realistic Ridiculous Readable Distorted Dream Dimension Descriptions.
He is the author of Alice’s Adventures in Steamland, The Bizarro Story of I, Chainsaw Cop Corpse, and Vegan Zombie Apocalypse.
As well as appearing on Bizarro Central and in online e-zines, his WEIRRRD fiction is featured in numerous print compilations, including the Bizarro anthologies The Big Book of Bizarro and Tall Tales with Short Cocks.
Wol-vriey is also the warped mind behind the experimental electronic Soukous ensemble ‘Earxygen’ (http://soundcloud.com/earxygen)