Breaking Dawn or Breaking Wind?

Last night I got the chance to FINALLY see the last instalment of the Twilight franchise, Breaking Dawn. Was I excited? Yes! Was it any good? Maybe…..

So, we start with Bella (Kristen Stewart) as a new vampire. Finally, there is some life in this girl (yeah, sing that Alanis Morrisette song loud and proud…). She goes from this fumbling little ‘can’t live without you Edward‘ groupie into a superhuman Emmett’s butt-kicking machine.

It’s nice to see her grow a set of balls.

The story moves along as a fair pace, since there is a bit of ground to cover in this movie and some pretty high expectations. Visually, it is beautiful to watch, the scenery is spectacular, the special effects stellar, Bella’s slow down/speed up sequences in her discovery of the vampire world are breathtaking and even the opening credits were stunning to watch! Not to mention the fight scenes are actually kick arse! Nice work guys.

That is until we come to the vampires. *sigh* When I watch shows like True Blood, the vamps are pale but oh so deliciously hot still! I don’t know what’s gone wrong with the vampire portrayal in the entire Twilight series, I mean, did they take a leaf out of Jasper’s book, or what? Maybe it’s the wrong shade of white? Maybe there’s too much of it? Or is it the wigs, the creepy (that should be cool, but aren’t) contacts, the constant pained look (is that constipation  because, really, shouldn’t they be HAPPY to be top of the food chain and living forever???) or the fact that they all seem way too goody two shoes for creatures that eat US for breakfast?

And now, here’s an image of how a vampire SHOULD look in the Twilight saga (Yes, I know he was a baddie, but seriously, look at him….):

Cam Gigandet plays bad vampire James in Twilight

But I LOVE the translation of werewolf to the silver screen [insert gratuitous shot of Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) here]:

Now, did I LIKE the movie? As far as a fan of the Twilight books goes (yes, I admit it. They may be badly written, but as far as I’m concerned, teenage angst is better written that way. Plus, hello, what a great way to get people to read!), I thoroughly enjoyed this flick. I am so glad they learned from the first movie (which was just horrible) that you need a werewolf to take his shirt off at least once (and thank you New Moon for so many of those fine shots) AND the movie needs to be visually stunning. The bad acting (yes, there was plenty of it) and the awkward vampires get lost in the grand scheme of things when this happens.

How About That Twist?

Don’t worry, there will be no SPOILER ALERTS  here, but I did want to give it an honourable mention. Yes, it happens; something unexpected at the end.  I was properly horrified and kind of guiltily relieved at the turn of events BUT it also turned out to be a bit of an anti-twist. *sigh* Guess that’s what you should expect when you see Stephenie Meyers listed as the producer…

And now, since you can’t do a Twilight/Breaking Dawn review without mentioning Edward somewhere, here goes. Did I like Robert Pattinson’s portrayal? Not really, but he’s getting better at it. The scenes between Bella and Renesme are endearing (although Jacob and Bella continually steals the comic thunder in the Renesme scenes) and it’s nice to see the character metaphorically growing out of his teens (FINALLY!) Pattinson has about the same acting ability as Kristen Stewart, but because Twi-hards are such a dedicated fan base and completely in love with the book version of Edward (as well as being pretty easy on the eye), he manages to dodge bullets here. Although, seeing this video a few days before watching the movie helped me to understand Robert Pattinson’s motivation behind the Edward character:

So, how many stars? Well, actually, I’m not going to give it a rating. Why? Because if you love the franchise, you’ll see it and love it. If you aren’t a fan, you won’t, and it if you do, you’ll hate it no doubt!

Breaking Wind - Twilight/Breaking Dawn parody movie (2011)Now, there is already a parody movie. It’s called Breaking Wind (hence my blog title). I will probably check this out, even though I watched (and HATED) Vampire’s Suck. And since I have a history of reviewing parodies of books, I just may end up posting a review of that for you too! Please let me know of any of you have already seen this movie and what you thought of it.

So what did you think of the movie? And, if you’re going to comment, please don’t include spoilers or I’ll have to cyber-kick your arse by deleting the post ;-P

(Photo credits: Summit Entertainment/IMDb.com/Comic Con)

(Video courtesy of YouTube via The Mary Sue website)

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About mrszoomby

When I'm not writing, I'm training for the zombie apocalypse.
This entry was posted in Breaking Dawn, True Blood, Twilight, Vampires and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Breaking Dawn or Breaking Wind?

  1. Hoping to see it this week…..and, like you Rach, I’ll probably like it b/c I liked the books so much. Now that Twilight is over I can’t wait for the Fifty Shades movies. Hope they get the casting right!

  2. mrszoomby says:

    Oh Kathleen, I can’t WAIT until the casting is called on Fifty Shades! I have everything crossed they cast Alexander Skarsgard as Christian 😀

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